How to Fix a broken heart

Heartbreak is part of the human condition, yet we know little about how to mend it. Psychologist Guy Winch says recovery starts with a decision: your heart may be broken, but you are not. It’s time to take control and heal.

Posted March 3,2018 in Lifestyle.

Amanda Lee
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How to Fix a broken heart

Practise self-compassion

Studies show self-compassion improves psychological and social functioning, lowers depression and anxiety and enhances emotional health. Start to develop a non-judgemental inner voice that responds to your suffering with kindness and caring, not self-blame.

Beat rumination

This repetitive focus  on negative thoughts and memories can lead to depression. Practise mindfulness meditation instead. A form of cognitive training, mindfulness requires daily practice directing attention to  the present, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Mindfulness reduces obsessional thinking and lowers our reactivity to distressing thoughts or events so that, even when harmful thoughts come up, they pack less punch.

Build self-esteem by focusing on your best qualities

Concentrate on attributes you have to offer a potential partner; traits another person would appreciate about you. Every week, list five of your great characteristics, without repetition.

Get back in touch with you

If you define yourself by your defunct relationship, your adjustment to the breakup will be poor. When a relationship ends, you must readjust and reconnect to who you are as an individual. As part of a couple, you may have gravitated to socialising with other couples and giving up your own interests. Get back in touch with what defines you. What are your strengths and talents? What do you enjoy doing?

 

See his TED Talk at ted.com/talks/guy_winch_how_to_fix_a_broken_heart